Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize