I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
