I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
