Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
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I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
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You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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