i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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