make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
