We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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