Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
