Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize