you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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