I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
