i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
