she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize