Texts From Last Night

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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You need to find a taint.

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  (724): I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between. (1-724): You need to find a taint. http://tfl.nu/752x
  Replies (24) Good night (2768) Bad night (815)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I wish they made sweatshirts for legs

  (1-602): View more from Arizona

  you mean pants?

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  (602): I wish they made sweatshirts for legs (1-602): you mean pants? http://tfl.nu/ceop
  Replies (38) Good night (8872) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.

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  (248): brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing. http://tfl.nu/ysyr
  Replies (10) Good night (4636) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.

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  (904): someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude. http://tfl.nu/xhi6
  Replies (21) Good night (913) Bad night (4224)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game

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  (618): the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game http://tfl.nu/je2o
  Replies (14) Good night (4288) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.

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  (918): And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2. http://tfl.nu/m96w
  Replies (84) Good night (28272) Bad night (1421)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me

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  (631): I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me http://tfl.nu/684j
  Replies (9) Good night (2446) Bad night (1007)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.

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  (910): Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started. http://tfl.nu/ywdk
  Replies (1) Good night (1487) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying

  (1-631): View more from New York

  Oh good your over him

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  (631): Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying (1-631): Oh good your over him http://tfl.nu/vmmt
  Replies (10) Good night (1646) Bad night (897)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I have a theory he's part Neanderthal

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  (505): I have a theory he's part Neanderthal http://tfl.nu/4i3w
  Replies (11) Good night (819) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  . Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.

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  (615): . Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this. http://tfl.nu/oczw
  Replies (6) Good night (1445) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.

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  (219): Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel. http://tfl.nu/qebb
  Replies (8) Good night (2357) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  What? How can you say that? You won!

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  (813): The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before. (1-813): What? How can you say that? You won! http://tfl.nu/a7ws
  Replies (5) Good night (936) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?

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  (519): Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night? http://tfl.nu/ybem
  Replies (3) Good night (499) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.

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  (540): i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset. http://tfl.nu/7epk
  Replies (3) Good night (378) Bad night (195)

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