My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
