Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
