dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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