My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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