Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
