He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
