he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
it was like eating out sand paper
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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