So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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