Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
