I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
