cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize