Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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