I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
