Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
