the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
