omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
