i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize