How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
