I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
