she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Floor bacon is actually really good
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
