i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
