Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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