ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
