we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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