Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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