I like my sex mixed with concussions.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
