By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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