OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
