Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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