anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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