I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
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