dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize
