This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
