just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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