WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood