FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.