lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
