I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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