Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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