Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
