her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
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we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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