So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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