just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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